A Day in the Life of a Palace Pup – Diary of Lord Barkington
Vienna, Tuesday – 10:03 AM
10:03 AM — Arrival
Dear Diary,
Today began not with the jangle of a leash or the clatter of a bowl, but with a velvet harness, freshly brushed ears, and a chauffeured ride to paradise. My human, forever whisked away by Klimt and cultural musings, left me not with the sitter (a kind soul, but tragically uninspired), but at Palace Paws.
10:15 AM — A Royal Welcome
The staff greeted me not with squeals or baby talk, but calm, respectful tones — the kind that say, “We see you, Lord Barkington.” My welcome treat? Baked chicken nibbles on porcelain. A gentle paw bath followed, infused with lavender and sandalwood. I sighed. Audibly.
10:47 AM — Lounge & Vivaldi
I was escorted to the velvet lounge — a setting of quiet grandeur. With Vivaldi’s “Spring” in the background, I reclined upon a tufted cushion that would shame Lady Penelope’s drawing room. A sip of chamomile broth (garnished with parsley, no less) completed the ambiance.
11:32 AM — Social Hour
Enter: Mademoiselle Chérie. A French bulldog of supreme elegance. Red ribbon, sparkling eyes, and a talent for shadow-chasing. We discussed Vienna, art, and the tragedy of dry biscuits. She laughed. I pretended not to blush.
12:15 PM — Light Massage & Paw Balm
A golden hour. Quite literally. A full-body massage with almond oil, followed by a sandalwood-infused paw balm. I was told my paws were “buttery soft.” I believe it.
1:00 PM — Midday Nap
Donning a silk sleep mask, I drifted into dreams of foie gras and frolics through the Stadtpark. The scent of rosewater and serenity hung in the air. I awoke refreshed, if mildly disoriented.
2:05 PM — Cocktail Hour (Non-Alcoholic, of Course)
Chérie and I reconvened on the garden terrace. Two pup-tail glasses clinked gently — chicken consommé for me, beef reduction for her — garnished with bone-shaped biscuits. We toasted to the finer things.
2:47 PM — One Last Romp
A brief but noble frolic through the play area — tug ropes, velvet squeak toys, and a chaise longue for contemplation between rounds.
3:00 PM — Departure & Reunion
My human returned — cheeks flushed with joy and a new Klimt print under her arm. She scooped me into her arms and whispered, “You smell like wealth.” I did, in fact, nap through a sandalwood mist treatment.
Tomorrow: A potential rendezvous at Schönbrunn. If so, I know precisely where I shall be — on velvet, with Vivaldi, and perhaps, another tryst with Chérie.
Yours in luxury,
Lord Barkington
A Patron of the Finer Things in Life